I met a friend for coffee this week and we discussed how she was recently recognized for her leadership accomplishments in her company. She recently moved to a new job in a new industry and is crushing it. I am really happy for her. As we talked, she mentioned her circle of friends as being key to her successful transition. I thought, “Her friends are the key to her success”? As I listened to her talk about the women in her circle – I was jealous! I want a circle that supports my career endeavors! I want someone who wants me to succeed and helps me get there! I bet you do too.
Here’s how to create a circle that serves as more than cheerleaders, but mentors:
A safe place. She’s able to call up her circle and ask hard questions. Questions about how to handle difficult situations, or to critique her response. She knows whatever she says will be kept confidential.
Diversity. The women in her circle come from diverse careers, lifestyles, experiences, and ages. They are all in different industries – not just the one she works in. It’s important to have a diverse group of supporters who will advise you from their personal experiences. Everyone learns something when someone shares. Their life may be different than yours, but you can learn things from them.
Respect for each other. This group members are busy, over-achievers and multi-taskers, but they show up for each other. My friend posted a picture of her receiving an award and there in the picture is her circle – her tribe – supporting her, and showing up for all that life brings.
Take the time. Her circle finds time and makes supporting others a priority. Time is our most precious commodity, and how you use it says a lot about you. Your circle should energize you, encourage you, have a hard conversation with you, inspire, and motivate you. It will not always be roses and rainbows, but the tough feedback could be something you need at a particular time in your life.
No matter where you are in life, this may feel overwhelming. My first thought is can I devote this time to others, even to reap the potential rewards? When I evaluate my ‘circles’ I realize that I am already doing something similar. Be it with moms of teenagers that I call the “advisory board”, or the monthly lunch I have with a business colleague. We should all have those confidants that can pour into us, even if it’s just a tiny drip. Look for them in your life and cultivate them. Show up for your friends and figure out who is in your circle.
