As a recruiter, I’ve helped people negotiate many things, including salary, vacation time, and flexible schedules – but the thing that stands out in my mind, is not the things they negotiate but how they do it. The best negotiators have confidence. They have practiced and honed their craft well before they negotiated their latest salary. Some people negotiate in their professional lives all the time, so it comes naturally to them. Some people don’t realize that they negotiate in their everyday life whether professional or personal. We negotiate with our family – regarding chores, curfews, budgets, and the thermostat! However, most people don’t feel confident in asking for what they really want when negotiating for salary, flex time, or buying a car. Here are some tips that will help you feel more confident in negotiating.
- Do your research. Whether buying a new car or accepting a new role, know what the research says. Be knowledgeable about your subject (salary, car, etc.) as you gain more knowledge you will feel more confident in what you should be negotiating for.
- Ask questions. Research allows you to ask questions that you didn’t know you needed to ask. Many people need to be educated on what they should be asking questions about. A person who has done their research knows to ask questions that will impact their negotiation.
- Listen to them. Silence is golden. It’s a powerful move to sit and not fill up the space with words. Once you have asked your questions, I encourage people to sit back and let the other person talk. Listen to really understand what they are saying they can provide. Is this a compromise or are they shutting down the negotiations? Listening well, accepting the silence, and letting the other party respond fully will give you a lot of clues as to their motivations or possibilities. Often people who try to fill the silence will compromise too quickly.
- Take time to evaluate the offer. Once you’ve done the research, asked your questions, and listened – take time to evaluate the offer. I’ve had people accept an offer on the spot. We’ve all been in a situation where you felt like you needed to accept right away, if that’s the case, do what’s best for you. However, taking time to analyze the offer shows confidence. Many employers will give you at least 24 hours to consider the offer. Having time to decide, might be your first point of negotiation. Whether it be a new salary or a new car – taking time to review the details is important.
- Practice, Practice, Practice. Start small – with family members or co-workers. When someone asks you to do something, think in terms of negotiation. Put your confidence-building skills into practice. For example, the next time someone needs a report and the deadline has you working overtime, try to negotiate a different deadline or a different report. You may not get it right the first time, but the more you practice, the better you will become and your confidence will grow.
Honing your confidence in the area of negotiating will help you in many areas of your life- personally and professionally. Just maybe you can set the thermostat where you want it!
