You’ve gotten the job offer. It’s a great opportunity, but it means relocating. Now comes the hard part: having the conversation with your spouse or partner about uprooting your lives. And then figuring out how to make it work for both of you. Here’s what I’ve learned after years in recruiting: Most companies expect you to ask for spouse support, but they’re not going to offer it upfront. You have to know what to ask for and how to ask for it.
Why Companies Should Care (And How to Frame It)
Before we get to the tactics, let’s talk strategy. Companies know that failed relocations are expensive—it costs the company 1-2 times your annual salary when they have to replace you. But many still act like spouse support is a nice-to-have, not a necessity. Your job is to help them understand that supporting your family isn’t charity—it’s smart business. About 60% of relocations are influenced by spouse employment issues. When spouses are unhappy, employees leave. It’s that simple.
What You Can Actually Ask For
Don’t go in blind. Here’s what’s reasonable to request, based on what I’ve seen work:
Career Support for Your Spouse
- Professional networking introductions
- Career coaching
- Resume services
- Job search assistance and local recruiter connections
- Temporary workspace or coworking membership
- Time flexibility for your spouse’s job interviews
- Remote work setup if they can keep their current job
Community Integration Help
- Relocation company services (they know the local market)
- Information packages about schools, healthcare, and community resources
- Paying for your spouse to visit the area before an offer is given/accepted.
- Introductions to other relocating families or employee groups
- Temporary housing while you house hunt
- School district information and enrollment assistance
Financial Considerations
- Extended relocation timeline to accommodate spouse job search (6-12 months is realistic)
- Temporary living allowances
- Travel expenses for spouse job interviews
- Professional licensing or certification transfers
- Language classes for international moves
Family-Specific Needs
- Eldercare resource information
- Childcare assistance and daycare wait list navigation
- Pet relocation services
- International visa and work authorization help
How to Bring It Up (Without Seeming Demanding)
Timing Matters Don’t lead with spouse support in your first conversation. Wait until there’s mutual interest and you’re discussing the offer details. This is when they’re most motivated to make things work.
Frame It as Problem-Solving “I’m really excited about this opportunity. To make this work for my family, I’d love to discuss what support might be available for my spouse’s career transition.”
Be Specific About Your Situation “My spouse is a marketing manager with 10 years of experience. Do you have connections with local agencies or other companies that might be looking for that skillset?”
Show You’ve Done Your Homework “I’ve been researching the area and see there’s a strong tech scene there. Would it be possible to get introductions to some networking groups or professional associations?”
Position It as Mutual Success “I want to make sure this move is successful long-term. What resources does the company typically provide to help families get settled?”
The Remote Work Wild Card
Here’s where things get interesting. Remote work changed everything for spouse employment. If your spouse can keep their current job remotely, that’s a huge win for everyone.
How to Explore This: “My spouse currently works remotely part-time. If they could continue with their current employer, that would solve a lot of the career transition challenges. Would the new location support reliable internet for home office work?”
Make It Part of Your Location Requirements: “For my spouse to continue their remote work, we’d need reliable high-speed internet and a quiet workspace. Can you help me understand what the internet infrastructure is like in different neighborhoods?”This approach can actually save the company money—they don’t need to provide job search assistance if the spouse already has work sorted.
What If They Say No?
Don’t panic if they can’t provide everything you ask for. Here’s how to handle pushback:
Get Creative with Solutions “If formal job search assistance isn’t available, would it be possible to get introductions to a few employees who live in the area? I’d love to learn more about the community.”
Ask About Timing Flexibility “If spouse support services aren’t available, would there be flexibility in my start date to allow more time for the family transition?”
Focus on Information “Even if there’s no formal program, any local insights or resource recommendations would be incredibly helpful.”
Consider What You Can Do Yourself Research the area thoroughly. Join local professional groups online before you move. Start networking virtually. Show initiative, and companies are more likely to support additional requests.
International Moves: Extra Complications
If you’re moving internationally, spouse work authorization becomes critical. Here’s what to address:
- Visa requirements and processing times
- Work permit eligibility and restrictions
- Professional license transfers
- Language requirements
- Tax implications for dual-country employment
Don’t assume the company knows how to handle this. Ask specifically about immigration support and whether they work with specialists.
Red Flags to Watch For
Some responses should make you pause:
- “Family support isn’t really our thing”
- “Most spouses figure it out on their own”
- “The local job market is great” (without any specifics)
- Reluctance to discuss timeline flexibility
- No acknowledgment of spouse employment as a legitimate concern
These attitudes often indicate a company that doesn’t understand modern relocation realities.
Making Your Case with Data
If you need to build a business case, here are the facts:
- 62% of families rely on dual incomes
- Failed relocations cost companies 1-2 times the employee’s salary
- 27% of companies cite remote work as impacting relocation decisions
- Spouse employment is a factor in 60% of relocation decisions
Sample Email Language
“Thank you for the offer discussion. I’m very interested in moving forward. To help ensure a successful transition for my family, I wanted to discuss what support might be available for my spouse’s career transition. They’re a [job title] with [X years] experience in [industry]. Do you have resources for professional networking or connections with local employers in that field? I’m also curious about the remote work infrastructure in [city] since they may be able to maintain some current client relationships. Would it be possible to schedule a brief call to discuss family relocation support?”
The Bottom Line
Don’t be afraid to ask for spouse support. Companies that are serious about your success will want to help. Companies that dismiss these concerns might not be the right fit anyway.
Remember: you’re not asking for favors. You’re helping them protect their investment in you. A successful relocation benefits everyone, and that starts with taking care of your whole family, not just you. The worst thing they can say is no. But in my experience, most companies will work with you if you approach it professionally and show them how it’s in their best interest too.
Written by: Beth Pittman, Co-Founder and Coach, Skills Lab Training
Successful careers start at Skills Lab. Offering career coaching, leadership training and talent services to students, professionals, and organizations.
